This week's highlights (well, maybe lowlights)

It's Saturday. Thank God. Its barely 6am...on a Saturday. I'm awake while everyone else is sleeping. It was an awful night last night. Monster was up three times. THREE TIMES! I wasn't able to fall back to sleep after the last time he woke up. I need him to start sleeping through the night. I can't keep doing this. I NEED sleep. Please?

The first time Monster woke up, I noticed something interesting. It was midnight. I had only been asleep for an hour and a half. I am barely able to keep my eyes open while feeding Monster. Bean moves a little. That's strange. It seems like there is something on his head. I wonder what it could be. A few moments later, he sits up and turns to his other side. He is wearing a sun visor. IN BED! How awesome is that?! It is things like this that convince me he is the coolest three year old.

In other news, Monster got his first real injury this week. He was downstairs with Husband playing while I was able to shower (it was very much needed). I heard a thump followed by screaming. A few seconds later a screaming baby and scared Husband are in the bathroom with me. Monster had fallen off the coffee table and smacked his head on the floor molding around the fireplace. There was blood. Monster was not pleased about the fall or the resulting injury. After complaining about it for a few minutes, he then noticed my ladies and decided that crying was not as much fun as eating. Thank goodness for boobs. The next morning, he climbed out of his crib. Fuck. He never stops...

The incident

It was a bright and hot Thursday. The big boys were finishing up their lunch. Isaiah was in the walker munching on some snacks and Monster was happily playing by the kitchen. Every once in a while he would let out a squeal of pure delight.

"Meemaw, I have to go poop." Adrian said, as he licked the last of the agave off his fingers. I excused him from the table.

A few seconds later, "Meemaw! There is poop!"

I run over to see shit everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

"Adrian! What did you do?!?!" I exclaimed. It was at this moment that I see an empty diaper....and then I see a naked Monster...covered in poop. Poop on the floor...poop on toys....poop on my baby....EVERYWHERE. Monster sees me and and lets out a maniacal laugh while quickly crawling towards me.

I didn't know whether to laugh, scream, or cry. I picked up the poop covered Monster and tried to hold him in such a way as to avoid becoming covered in poop. He was like a squirming greased pig so I failed. I soon became another thing covered in shit. Another thing needing a deep, deep cleaning.

Aaaaaaah, the joys of motherhood....

I would really like to blog...

but find that task very challenging with an almost 10 month old (!) monster crawling all over me and the keyboard. Oh sweet blog, do not fear, I will return and I will rock your world...

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

This is one of the books that DONA requires you to read before taking the doula workshop. I have read multiple books on pregnancy, labor, and birth but NONE have been as eye opening as this book. I feel like every pregnant woman should read this book because it will open her eyes to the truth about childbirth. Childbirth isn't scary, it isn't medical, and it doesn't have to be painful (and one doesn't need medicine to make it painless). Women are told over and over again horrible and scary stories about childbirth and we go into labor and birth with so much fear. Women need to erase any fear they have of childbirth and labor. When one does that, their bodies are able to do what they are supposed to do-birth a baby with little intervention and no need for medication. It might even be enjoyable and fun (there are pictures in this book of babies crowing and the mother's are smiling, laughing. It's beautiful) Birth became scary when it moved into hospitals. Unnecessary procedures started to take place, not just for the sake of the mother or baby, but for the doctor.

I wish I could go back in time and read this book before having my babies. I had both my babies in the hospital and was not able to have the birth I wanted (or my babies deserved) because of this. While laboring at home with Monster, the contractions (or surges/rushes) were tolerable. I was able to let my body find the position it needed to be in. Once we got to the hospital, I was strapped to a bed, monitors all over me, and an IV put in me for fluids (mind you, I was drinking normally and no where near dehydrated. Just wasted medical intervention). It was at this point where labor became more painful. Birth became medical, doctor's needs where put before mine. I couldn't be in the position my body needed to be in because they needed the monitors (baby was fine and not in distress-monitors were not needed). I still get so angry thinking about this. I should, however, point out that I was not intending to labor and birth at this hospital. My wonderful midwives were at another hospital but Monster decided to come when that hospital was full and I got diverted to another one.

This book is getting me even more excited to be on this journey to becoming a doula, and eventually a midwife. I cannot wait to start helping women experience the birth they want.

Snuggle monster

Last weekend, we went to Sauvie Island for the day. Oh, beautiful, wonderful, amazing Sauvie Island. I will live there one day. It is the perfect place for me. We went on Sunday. Got there really early in the morning. There was no one there. No smoking high school students. No loud drunks. It was perfect. This was monster's first time to the island and he LOVED it. He ate sand, chewed on sticks and splashed in the water.

Being the wonderful mother I am, I made sure to lather the kids with sunscreen before leaving the house and numerous times while on the island. No babies of mine will sunburn! HA! Epic failure! Both babies (as well as husband) looked like lobsters. Husband's feet were bright red and became swollen the next day. Monster has a red birthmark on his back and it blended in with his sunburn. Poor baby...It didn't seem to bother him though. Apparently, one must shake the spray on suntan lotion before application. This is why it's a good idea to read directions. Good job, Mama (pats self on back)

The sunburns are getting better. Husband's feet are back to their normal size (though still freakishly red). Monster's back has started to peel. The constantly wiggly, squirming, on the go baby now enjoys snuggling in my lap getting his back scratched. It's a beautiful thing. If only he would do this without a horrible sunburn.

*pop*

There! It is done. After wanting to start a blog for a few years, I have finally done it. My blog cherry is popped. Now I have the pleasure of thinking of fun and witty things to write about. What is this blog going to be about? Well, me of course. Me is my family-Husband, Bean (3yrs), and Monster (9.5 months). It's funny how you are no longer just you when you become a family. I sometimes like to think back to when me was really just one person. Life was so simple and much easier but, my goodness, it was boring!

Anyway, my goal is to blog everyday. Hmmm, that maybe asking to much. I rarely have time to shower everyday (to much information?). How about at least once a week? That sounds doable. Uh-oh...Monster is awake. See ya!