It is April and with that comes a very important date in my life. The date that changed EVERYTHING. On April 10th, 2007 at 1:10am, my Bean was born and with his birth my life drastically changed for the better (though some days I fantasize about my pre-baby days...it was so calm...and quiet....amd waaaaaaay less complicated). It is crazy to think that I have had this position of mom for 5 years now. FIVE YEARS. That is the longest job I have ever had. Though in all honesty, I started this job pretty young so I didn't really have a chance to hold down a "normal" job this long. Yay for being a young mom! You know what is crazy? When I think of a 21 year old having a baby, I am like, "Oh my! You are so young!" but I was that young! How did I do it? How did I know what I was doing?!? Thank goodness Bean survived and inspired us to have another (Monster is good birth control. Though he is growing out of his monstrous ways and the baby itch is starting up again. Sorry Husband. You are going to hear a lot of whining about adoption).
I was looking into adoption the other day. International, domestic, foster care. It's a complicated mess. I like the idea of foster to adopt. It is cheaper, easier, takes less time, etc. I really love babies. I MISS having a baby in the house. So international adoption peaks my interest because we could potentially get a baby under the age of one. SWOON! The price tag of such an en-devour is staggering. Then I feel guilty paying that much when their are kids who need a home right here in the good ol' US of A. I just really want a daughter. I need some pink in my life.
About 6 weeks ago we expanded our family. We picked up a spare kid. A six year old boy...lets call him D. Super cool kid! Our family just works well with this age group (right now you are probably thinking I am crazy talking about adoption when we already have three kids. I love the chaos of a house fill of kids). This case is helping my grow as a foster parent because D has a relationship with his family. He has weekly visits, talks to them regularly on the phone, etc. I have a pretty jaded view of parents who have kids in the system. Most children are in the system due to their parents poor choices. And yep, D is not an exception. He is in the system due to his parents choices. I have to get passed that his parents made these poor choices and help them continue to have a relationship and help them work towards being reunited as a family. I also have to get passed that their poor choices have led to D making poor choices and having such a negative view of himself. I have never met a child this young who has such a horrible and negative view of himself. Kids at this age are supposed to think they are the best and most amazing thing since sliced bread. So far, we haven't experienced any of the problem behaviors he had in other homes. His school, however, is not as lucky...
Oh! I have been expanding my sewing skills. I have to brag here a minute. I made an epic quilt the other day, as well as a matching pillow. And...wait for it...I MADE A SKIRT! That I can wear! And it looks good! and fits! (well, its a little big). Now that I made something I can wear, I feel like anything is possible. If only my sewing machine felt the same way. I have had this machine since I was 13-14 and was the most basic model when my parents got it for me. At the time, it was perfect but if I need to sew anything that is thicker than two pieces of fabric, or sew long pieces together, she starts to protest. And then I want to throw her against the wall or hit her with a hammer repeatedly. Unfortunately, a new machine is not in the budget right now. Fortunately, I have a fantastic friend and once upon a time neighbor that let me borrow hers a week or so again. So far, she hasn't asked for it back and I am hoping that she won't get suspicious and ask for it back for another week...or two...or three. I have a bunch of projects rolling around in my head. Like more skirts, jammie pants, an apron! The possibilities are ENDLESS.
On that note, I am out. The mother-in-law just got here for pizza night. More later!
