A Fantasy

Sometimes, I just want a break. An hour or two to catch my breath. To be ME without someone needing me, asking for me, wanting something, etc. I fantasize about sitting in a quiet coffee shop with a giant pumpkin spice latte and a good book (not a doula, labor, or nursing book. Just a book I am reading for pure pleasure). When I start to think about making this fantasy a reality, I start to feel guilty. WHY do I need to do this? Isn't my job, my passion being with my family? What am I doing wrong that I need a break?

But really, I shouldn't feel guilty about wanting this time, needing this time. Everyone needs to rest and recharge. I need time for me so that I am at my best for my family. When I am grouchy and crabby, everyone else is grouching and crabby. So basically, it is in everyone's best interest to give me an hour to two to myself. Right?!? See, I am just trying to justify this so I don't feel guilty. What is wrong with me?

It is amusing how different one becomes when becoming a parent. Before kids, EVERYTHING was ME, ME, ME (maybe a little boyfriend time as well) and I never felt guilty about this. Once you have a little person dependent on you, you shift your focus and attention from yourself to your mini-you. You sacrifice, no that's not the right word, you put yourself and your needs on the back burner...

Now the boys are awake and needing me. See you later, blog